I seem to have forgotten I’m actually a writer lately. These two recent ‘moments’ show the dichotomy of an addled brain.

From the dark…

You can wound a man with weapons, and you can destroy a man with disease, but if you really want to cripple him – if you want to ensure he doesn’t come back – all you have to do is take away the one thing he loves above all else.

Do that, and you won’t see him again.

…to the not-so…

Bernadette sounded like a salesgirl working on commission. George noticed that her teeth were as false as her breasts, and – as both were fine creations and fantastic adverts for wherever she had bought them – George caught himself flicking his admiration from one purchase to the other.

He quickly looked away before it tipped from complimentary to awkward.