It’s about time I resurrected this one…
- Confirmed atheists who insist on saying ‘bless you’ when I sneeze. I’m not religious, which is one thing – I’ve made my peace with that – but if you’re not religious who are you seeking to be blessed by? Neither of us believe, so why are you so upset and/or annoyed when I don’t say thank you?
- Pretentious iPhone users who still think that owning one has any cachet whatsoever. Why are they the only people who feel the need to tell me what kind of phone they have at every single opportunity? Samsung owners don’t do it. Ditto HTC. I’ve just dropped my iPhone, they say, or I’ll check it out on my iPhone. Can you send and receive text messages? Can you make and take calls? Yeah, me too. So shut up already.
- When people tout for (usually overseas) charity. Let’s buy a donkey or a camel or a… bottle of water for someone in Africa. No! If you want to do that, fine, good luck to you. I wish you all the best. But don’t try to hitch my wagon to that cart. And don’t ask me in front of a bunch of other folk either to try and appeal to my moral compass either, because my stubbornness will kick in and I’ll say no just to look like a selfish prick. But don’t assume that just because I’m saying no to you, that I don’t do anything for charity. For all you know I could have a monthly direct debit set up just for that purpose. Or maybe I throw a quid to every beggar I see on the street. Or perhaps I simply don’t have a fiver to give to you to give to someone else. Charity begins at home, and if I had money to buy a donkey, I’d get one for myself – it’d be a helluva lot cheaper than my car and parking wouldn’t be an issue.
- People who say they don’t like something (usually food) that they have never tried. If you’ve eaten prawns and you don’t enjoy the taste, that’s fine. I accept that. But don’t tell me it’s because you don’t like the look of them.
- After-Christmas sales that begin on Christmas Eve. You’ve just said it’s called an after-Christmas sale. It’s December 24. The clue’s in the name: it’s right there on the side of the box! What am I missing here? This one’s an easy fix but nobody seems to have gone to the trouble to do it.
Ah… now that I’ve got those off my chest, I feel better.