I don’t know who is worse – this woman who ‘married’ a 37 year old zombie doll called Kelly, complete with ceremony and subsequent consummation; or the people who think that her bride is actually a dead child.

Admittedly, it’s quite a good (albeit gruesome) depiction of a dead child, but you would have to be both blind and high to think it was anything other than fabric and some decent face paint. That’s not to say that I think marrying a dead kid is any more or less weird than taking your vows with a puppet. Because it’s not.

Twenty year old Felicity was given the doll seven years earlier and they have been close ever since. This says it all:

“Despite having been in a relationship with Kelly for four years, getting married to her has made me feel so much closer to her, both emotionally and intimately... I married Kelly but only because I accept her for who she is, I look past her bloody face and I don’t mind her not having a jaw.”

Are you fucking kidding me? Looks aren’t everything – trust me, I get that – but at the very least I do like a girl to have the bottom half of her face intact.

Good luck, Felicity, but I reckon your zombie pal was munching on your brain long before the wedding took place.