Today is Good Friday, although I’m not really sure why it’s called that. Are Christians actually marking the day that Jesus was murdered? This is the guy who their entire marketing and advertising campaign revolves around. He’s the one who brings people in. Without him, there is no Christianity. They should be a little more respectful and mourning his passing as a god in their field.

Oh, wait…

But not only do they mark the day every year; it’s treated as a celebration. It’s Good Friday. It’s right there in the name. It’s not called Memorial Friday or Remembrance Friday, which would make sense, because if the day is being noted to remember Jesus, and to denounce his premature death (which it surely is), shouldn’t it be a sombre affair?

I know religion can be confusing, but I am missing the logic. Is it supposed to be ironic – as in, we know it’s actually a really shit Friday, but that doesn’t look good on a calendar? I doubt it: the church is not known for its self-deprecating sense of humour.

If you follow the script, Jesus was going about his business when he was captured by the Romans and summarily executed. Sounds like a pretty rubbish day to me. And whilst nailing me to a cross and watching me bleed out may be some people’s idea of a good time, I would like to think that most of those who care about me (yes, there are a few) would be saddened by the grisly nature of my denouement.

The same should be the case for Jesus, whose only real crime was his David Blaine style trick of turning water into wine without considering the social implications of any minors in the crowd drinking the alcohol that he had provided. Next thing Jesus knows, he’s been nabbed by one of Pilate’s guys and there’s a halo of thorns on his head. Now, if he had spent time mastering a good escape trick, rather than messing around with the loaves and the fishes, perhaps he would have been all right.

The kids are off school on Good Friday, and it’s a weekend of chocolate eggs and cute little bunnies for them, so they probably think it’s quite a good day, but I doubt that the Christian Church was thinking of that when the day was given holiday status.

Likewise, I’m sure supermarket managers and corner store owners love it too, because as they have correctly pointed out; Jesus not only died for our sins, but also so that we could spend far too much money on sweet treats.

All right, rant over. Now get back to that terrible Easter weekend television.