Well, the Olympics have started, and I’ll be honest – I love it. The opening ceremony was a bit of a drag, and when they wheeled out Muhammad Ali, I did squirm just a bit. Shame. The guy is a sporting hero, but his appearance in London didn’t feel – or look – quite right. When he lit the torch in Atlanta in 1996, that was fine, because that had significance, with the civil rights connotations and all that jazz, but this just felt contrived. Still, the guy did add a touch of class to a typically British spectacle…

I’m a bit of an Olympic geek, it must be said. You can often find me sitting down and watching sports I only ever really take an interest in every four years. I mean, who knew archery could be exciting? Or handball? Or beach volleyball? No, wait… we always knew that was a keeper. But no matter how much I get into these sports, my interest in them won’t spike again until Rio in 2016… and what do you know, we’re back at beach volleyball again.

Right now I’m watching floor gymnastics. I can appreciate the skill, even though it’s still a little funny to watch well-built guys running around in skin-tight leotards. Later, it’s boxing… with women! It’s an Olympic first. Fair enough, there is no mud or jelly or pillows involved (I don’t think), but if you can’t get excited about two chicks beating each other up for medals, you should check your pulse.

And these days, with digital television, it’s even better. Beijing 2008 was never like this (fine, I was late to the high def revolution, okay?). Press the red button, and if the sport is happening right now, you can watch it. How cool is that? You don’t have to wait for the BBC anymore: you’re in control. It’s amazing.

Right, what now…