I got a letter from my dad today, which would not have arrived as such a great surprise had my father not died in 2004… and this letter had been written at least five years before that.

In the two pages of emotive prose, my father apologises, says that he loves me, and basically asks for forgiveness in a way that he would never have been able to do in person. He also left his address and phone number should I ever wish to get back in touch and rebuild a few of the bridges he had spent years burning.

At the end of the letter, in capitals, are the words EDDIE LIVES! It’s a phrase that means nothing unless you’ve seen Eddie & the Cruisers II… something which carries a crazy ironic weight, because that movie was about a famous singer presumed dead only to be discovered alive twenty years later.

Of course, I didn’t get the chance to reconnect because the letter was kept a secret from me for two decades. Maybe I wouldn’t have contacted him at all; or perhaps I would have done so just to tell him to fuck off. The truth is I don’t know how I would have reacted twenty years ago, but the point is, it should have been my decision to make, and not just another skeleton in an already bone-riddled closet.

So my first kiss in the year 2018 was shared with a guy, which is totally fine – we should all strive to experience new things, while we are still young enough to enjoy them – and although it is true that he was a better kisser than most of the girls I have had the pleasure of interacting with since my lips began actively seeking out others, this is not really what I meant when I internally concluded that this year I wanted to expand my horizons.

Still… I’ve had worse starts to the year.

I bought this. Now, you can see quite clearly on the front of the box, what it does. To a layman (as most of us are) this is all you require, a handful of easy to understand words. Nothing more is really needed.

And yes, I’m glad it doesn’t affect my make-up.

Inside, on the information sheet it says this:

EYE SPRAY – Please read carefully before using this product.

All right, fine. Cool. I’ll do that. This is what it says:

Eye spray assists in cases of dry eye sensation and helps to lubricate and moisture the eyelids. It relieves the discomfort of dryness, foreign bodies, burning and itching on the eyelid.

Hyaluronic acid, in the form of sodium hyaluronate, is a biological polysaccharide with the same molecular structure of the intraocular fluids and because of the viscoelasticity and hygroscopic capability, can significantly improve the tear film stability. The application of sodium hyaluronate at ocular level enhances hydration and reduces the risk of the sensation of dry eyes which is frequently associated with contact lens wear.

The tear film layer is formed by apolar lipids, polar lipids, small quantities of free fat acids, sterol esters, free sterols, and phospholipids. These form the interface between the acqueous layer of the tear film and the hydrophobic apolar lipids. The formulation specifically contains phospholipids and fat acids which tend to simulate the lipidic composition of the tear film.

The combined action of phospholipids and hyaluronic acid is therefore stabilizing and has the capacity to maintain and restore stability of the tear film, ensuring moistening of the exposed cornea-conjunctival surface and uniform disposition of the covering tear film.

The hyaluronic acid, as a mucus mimetic, has the capability to simulate some of the properties of the natural tear mucin to restore stability of the tear film.

The Matricaria chamomile extract is particularly advisable for the periocular application, where vitamin C, alfa-bisabolol, guiazulen, camazulen and farmesen, are required as anti-inflammatory, which are present in that extract.

Got that? Good.