Monday Movie Mentions #9…

Step Brothers (2008)

v1.aDszMzA3O2o7MTczNzA7MTIwMDs1MjY7NzAw

I would never claim that Step Brothers is  highbrow entertainment, because it’s most definitely not. In fact, it’s possibly one of the silliest movies you will ever see… but it’s also extremely funny, and a comedy that makes you laugh has done its job, regardless of where it finds its punchline.

Will Ferrell and John C Reilly play the titular forty-year-old step brothers who still live at home, which causes friction once their parents decide to tie the knot. Of course, they are only related by marriage, so there’s no logical reason why these two should look like each other. However, as they arrive together for a job interview as a toilet attendant wearing matching tuxedos, all while sharing that preternaturally goofy hairstyle… somehow everything falls into place and you buy in to this forced sibling rivalry.

Yes, Step Brothers is home to a number of cheap sex jokes, and yes, there is a lot of profanity, sometimes (it seems) just because bad words at inappropriate times are funny, so if that kind of thing offends you, you should probably give this one a miss, but it also has a surprisingly large heart at its core, as the two frenemies find a way to get along with each other. Thankfully there is no typically safe Hollywood ending, and the script maintains its bite right up until the credits roll.

Dale: Hey, you awake?
Brennan: Yeah.
Dale: I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad.
Brennan: Well that’s fine. Cause guess what? I hate you too. And this house sucks ass.
Dale: Well the only reason you’re living here, is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we’ll put up with the retard in the meantime.
Brennan: Who’s the retard?
Dale: You.

Look, I told you: it ain’t Shakespeare… but it is damn funny.

Sunday Song Suggestions #9…

Vision of Love – Mariah Carey – 1990

This song was so memorable that I remember when I first saw the music video for it, back in the first half of 1990, before it had even been released as a single. The world didn’t know who Mariah Carey was then, but with an introduction like this, I knew it wouldn’t be long.

I was no music industry expert, but even at thirteen my finger was close enough to the pulse to know that this girl was going to be a big star, and I said as much to anyone who would listen. My mum just thought I fancied her, but as partial as I am to young women with a proclivity for a good ol’ fashioned perm who know how to handle a microphone stand, it was about more than that.

Over the years, as Mariah’s career and subsequent style has progressed, my love for her output has dissipated. In fact, nothing she has released this century has moved me in any way. But from those soaring vocals on this her debut single, to the ease with which she reaches that upper register and just nails it, Vision of Love is gold, and Mariah’s voice (for the best part of a decade) was money.

As for her descent into disrepute in later years – I blame Tommy Mottola for that. But that’s a rant for another post on another day…

Friday Fiction Fixes #8…

Misery by Stephen King – 1987

34c6ac_b4000c40d6ef4e1fbc3d51fdf1aed6eb

The cover that stole my attention in 1991.

I have read dozens of King novels over the years, but Misery was the first one to catch my attention, when I was fifteen. The popular Hollywood interpretation with Kathy Bates’ Oscar winning lead performance had been released the year before, so the story was still quite fresh at the time, and that was probably the catalyst that took me to the library.

Misery is one of King’s most well-respected stories, and for good reason.  It’s claustrophobic, atmospheric writing at its finest, and a very simple idea, told extremely well. Paul Sheldon is a best-selling romance author who crashes his car in a snowstorm, only to be rescued by his self-proclaimed ‘number one fan’ – the soon to be revealed – psychotic Annie Wilkes. She dislikes that Paul has killed off Misery Chastain in his latest entry to her favourite series of novels, and forces him to write an entirely new story – eradicating what she has just read – for her eyes only.

The infamous hobbling scene from the movie, where Annie breaks both his ankles with a sledgehammer, plays out a little differently in the text… where she chops off one of his feet with an axe instead. It’s more violent, bloody and immediately visceral – not that one way is better, or would be more pleasant. I guess it’s like choosing between the Devil and the deep blue sea.

The book was so good that I went on to read another eighteen King novels in a row before I even so much as looked at another author. My writing style in my young adult years was certainly influenced  – and probably hindered to an extent – by my desire to read so much of his stuff, and I sometimes wonder how things would have changed had I decided to vary my reading habits at such an impressionable age.

Many years later, and Misery still ranks very highly in his oeuvre, and if you wanted to make a case for it being the best thing he’s done, I wouldn’t put up much of an argument.

Tuesday TV Testimonials #8…

Chuck (2007 – 2012)

chuck-tv-series-wallpaper-05Chuck had a very chequered history, and as a result is a show that a lot of people missed on its original rotation, and it was even going to be cancelled after its third season until fans stepped in and made themselves heard. The noise gave them two more years, and the show ended in a manner more befitting its stellar run, but it is still destined to be one of the forgotten gems of the last decade.

Chuck was an action comedy show about a nerdy young guy (played by Zachary Levi) who works as a computer hardware support assistant. One day he becomes exposed to an email virus which implants in his brain a program that turns him into the world’s greatest spy. It sounds complicated, but it’s really not. Essentially it’s a superhero show without the cape, or James Bond for those who don’t really want everything shaken or stirred.

YvonneStrahovski_Chucks04e14hdtvOf course – as is often the case with these kind of things – there is a will-they-won’t-they romance running through the entire run, and yeah, Chuck (the show) was never the same once Chuck (the character) eventually got together with Sarah, the CIA agent who had been tasked with keeping him under control… but if you’ve seen Yvonne Strahovski, you’re probably wondering why it took him so many episodes to finally get his act together. I’d have made a fool of myself within the first forty-three minutes of the opening episode.

Chuck sometimes forgot the rules of its own premise, and it often replaced what was plausible for what was funny, but it was always a joy to watch, and the nature of the show meant that it was never predictable. The cast always looked like they were having blast, and it was infectious, and I was genuinely disappointed when it came to an end. Still, there are talks about a movie that may be in the works, and Chuck has the potential to be great on the big screen.

Monday Movie Mentions #8…

Teenwolf (1985)

189.1I’ve always been a fan of Michael J Fox, but even I can admit and accept that Teenwolf is not one of the greatest movies on his resume – hell, it wasn’t even the best thing he put out in 1985. It’s fun, and as entertainment Teenwolf is certainly harmless enough, but it gets by on its central performances rather than the tightness of its script and plot.

Harold_Howard

Pretty cute, right?

Fox plays Scott Howard, a teenager who finds himself showing signs of lycanthropy, while going through the usual issues that any other hormonal high school kid has to endure. James Hampton plays Scott’s father, in perhaps the cutest and least intimidating interpretation of a werewolf in the history of cinema.

The story – if you try to forget about the whole wolf thing – is fairly standard eighties comedy fare, but there’s nothing wrong with that. A lot of my favourite feelgood movie moments were produced in that decade. Teenage boy has a crush on (blonde) teenage girl, but he is oblivious to the fact that other (brunette) teenage girl likes him. Spoilers: by the end of the movie, teenage boy swaps his desire for light to dark.

Scott: Stiles, I got something to tell you. It’s kind of hard, but…
Stiles: Look, are you gonna tell me you’re a fag because if you’re gonna tell me you’re a fag, I don’t think I can handle it.
Scott: I’m not a fag. I’m… a werewolf.

It’s hard to believe that back then, they got away with dialogue like this. These days, there would be an entire internet noticeboard devoted to shutting the movie down and firing everyone on staff, but in the eighties people were a little less serious about things like that.

There’s a school basketball story wrapped up in there as well, and a great supporting performance from Scott’s best friend, Stiles, but try not to take this too seriously and you’ll probably enjoy it for what it is.

Sunday Song Suggestions #8…

Tender Surrender – Steve Vai – 1995

There are few songs which give me chills the first time I hear them, and even fewer that continue to do so several times over. Tender Surrender, from 1995, is one of those songs, and Steve Vai is one of the artists who inspired me to convince my sister to buy me a guitar for Christmas and try to teach myself how to play many years ago.

Of course, back then I was young and stupid, and I would have had about as much success trying to crack the Enigma Code as I did fingering the strings with any degree of competency. I was terrible. But my inability to play little more than a really bad (and slow) rendition of The Star Spangled Banner gave me a lot more appreciation for the deities of the guitar genre such as Vai.

Guitars are often viewed as sexy instruments, and the way Vai caresses his it’s easy to see why. He performs this as if he’s making love to the damn thing. Starting off very calm and mellow, the song soon builds to a technical crescendo that is difficult to disregard, even if you’re not a fan of the style.

I don’t know if this kind of skill can be learned, or if some people are just born with it in their DNA, but watching Steve Vai bring his guitar to orgasm on stage here, I’m inclined to believe the latter.

Friday Fiction Fixes #7…

Fractured by Dawn Barker – 2012

41JyPraThoL.SX316This is something I would not have picked up under regular circumstances, but sometimes the irregular can be good. Last year I played a lot of poker, and I would almost always be seen at the tables with a book… because where better to read than a casino, right?

James, an acquaintance I regularly play with, mentioned that his daughter writes, and would I like to read something that she had written. I admit, I didn’t take his suggestion all that seriously at first, because plenty of people have approached me over the years with similar requests, and it has turned out to be little more than a few scribbles on some napkins. As it turned out, this was substantially more than a few scribbles.

Fractured is Dawn’s debut novel. It’s an emotional drama about what is probably one of the toughest situations a family – and especially, a mother – can go through, and it was probably the best thing I read in 2016. Sure, it’s primarily aimed at women (and I’m not one of them), and parents (and I’m not one of those either), but the intensity and the psychological aspects of the story can be appreciated by everyone, and any piece of fiction that manages to bring others in has got to be worth the price of admission.

I was all prepared to put my poker face to good use and tell James that his daughter’s novel was pretty good, but it turned out to be an unnecessary bluff as it really is a fine read.

And in a final (non-commissioned) plug, you can check her out over here.

Tuesday TV Testimonials #7…

Noel’s House Party (1991 – 1999)

1363968046916,0

Noel Edmonds and his sidekick…

Light entertainment shows are a bit scarce these days, and the genre has been all but forgotten in recent years. It won’t mean anything to anybody outside the UK, but in the nineties, if you weren’t out on a Saturday evening, you were in watching Noel’s House Party – probably the greatest show of its kind to come out of that decade. Yes, it was that good.

It’s a difficult show to describe, because there’s really nothing like it nowadays. Broadcast live, it was a semi-scripted show, set in an old mansion in the fictional village of Crinkley Bottom (yes, the ‘Carry On’ style humour was on full display – Noel’s House Party was as English as tea and crumpets). Each hour long episode would have regular segments, including short comedy skits, prize giveaways, pranks, phone in competitions, and of course, the ever popular gunge tank. I know, it sounds awful, but it had a singular charm that has not been replicated since. Noel Edmonds was the perfect host, and the format probably would have struggled under anyone else’s control.

In later years, Mr Blobby – the silly, pink and yellow polka dot character introduced in the second series in a supporting role – began to take up more and more space on the show, and the show began to steer south as a result. Blobby even had his own chart-topping single at one point, but the less said about that travesty the better.

With all the television reboots happening these days, I’m surprised nobody has brought this one back yet, but it’s a different audience now, and unfortunately I don’t think Noel’s House Party would work in 2017. Somewhere along the line, television forgot how to be fun. It’s true: they don’t make ’em like they used to.

Monday Movie Mentions #7…

Hard Candy (2005)

fw8pthimThis is a brutal movie, and it doesn’t apologise for it. Nor is there that saccharine sweet ending that you would expect from a Hollywood movie made in the last two decades. It’s a disturbing, intense, psychological thriller, that closes in a darker place than it began.

Ellen Page – one of my favourite actresses, in this, her first leading role – was only seventeen when Hard Candy was being filmed, and given the subject matter, that says a lot about her maturity and acting ability.

She shines here as a fourteen year old girl who spends time chatting online to a man she knows to be a paedophile, in order to give him what is coming his way. The script cleverly flips the obvious predator and prey scenario early on and calls for us, the viewer, to cheer for her as she stalks, corners, and brutalises him throughout the duration of the movie.

Hard Candy is tightly written and well acted, and there are no explosions or special effects to cause any undue distraction… and it also has something to say about society and where we are now. It’s certainly not for everyone, but it’s a cult movie that deserves to be seen – and appreciated – by many more people.

Sunday Song Suggestions #7…

Regulate – Warren G, featuring Nate Dogg – 1994

I’m not known for my love of rap, but there are a few tunes that have slipped under the radar and got me to listen over the years, and this is one of them. Few songs remind me of my college days more than Regulate, and this one takes me right back there, studying for an Accounts exam that I knew I would fail so badly, that I ended up not even turning up to do it, and I spent the day at the beach instead.

Of course, back in those days, I didn’t know that it sampled I Keep Forgettin’ (Every Time You’re Near) by Michael McDonald from 1982, but such is the nature of the genre. Shame for Michael, because it’s hard for me to listen to his track now without ending up back here with these two guys.

I couldn’t name another Warren G or Nate Dogg song, which is surprising, because having listened to this one on a veritable loop during the darker months of 1994, you would think I’d have investigated their respective catalogues. Hell, I’ve never even seen the Tupac Shakur movie, Above the Rim, that features heavily in the video. As such, I am definitely a surface fan of the genre, and you certainly won’t find me knee deep in the underground rap scene.

Still, Regulate always brings me a smile.

One of them dames was sexy as hell
I said “ooh, I like your size.”
She said, “my car’s broke down and you seem real nice,
would ya let me ride?”
I got a car full of girls and it’s going real swell
the next stop is the Eastside Motel.

Lyrics to live by, people. Lyrics to live by.