It’s been far too long since I have added to this list…
…so here are a few more things I want to get off my chest.
- When you recognise a person in the street heading towards you and as they pass they say how are you doing? … but keep walking as they do. So, do you want me to answer the question, or was it just rhetorical? I assume by your continued movement away from me that you actually don’t care to hang around for my answer. How about next time you just say nothing at all and be done with it?
- People who – within hours of meeting me – ask what football team I support. Not, whether or not I support a football team. Because I’m a guy there’s an instant assumption that I must like the sport. The moment I declare that actually, I don’t like football, that awkward silence means I’m suddenly not worthy of their conversation, as if the only thing these people can talk about is how good/bad/exciting/boring/tense/rigged that game was on Saturday.
- Business speak like going forward and let’s run it up the flagpole. It’s excruciatingly passe, but it’s a stereotype for a reason. Working in an office you hear that kind of thing every hour of every day. I refuse to use these terms, either in verbal or in written communication, unless I’m being facetious. That’s… thinking outside the box.
- The idea that I’m not allowed to dislike a black man for fear of recrimination. Political correctness is insanity these days. If I dislike you, the fact that you have black skin is incidental. You would be an asshole whatever colour you were. And don’t worry, I can assure you, I dislike plenty of white folk too.
- People who go to a Chinese restaurant and order the Chicken Maryland with chips while everyone else is chowing down on the shredded chilli beef and the crispy duck. Are you kidding me? Why is that stuff even on the menu? You don’t go to McDonald’s and ask for crispy won tons, so why does society require that our delicate European palate is catered for in our ethnic restaurants? Do yourself a favour and try the special fried rice.