For some reason, my eight year old, 800 word flash fiction, My Wife Glows in the Dark – which has been published legitimately on multiple occasions, both in print and online – has now found its way over here without my prior knowledge.

My Spanish does not go much beyond the song that Freddie Mercury did with that fat woman for the Olympics a while ago, so I will have to (grudgingly) accept the validity of the translation. Below this is what I initially thought was my original English language version, however it’s not quite… right. It’s like it has been re-translated from Spanish, rather than just pasted in as it was written: a copy of a copy, if you will. I would ask, in future, if anyone insists on lifting my work and putting it on their website, at least have the decency to use it, and not some bastardised version you have fed through Google Translator.

Unfortunately, it’s not the first time I have discovered someone replicating this story, although at least this time an attempt has been made to attribute it to me with the (rather lengthy) biography at the bottom of the page, which begins:

“Brian Ross is one of the most honored and respected journalists in the country.”

The problem is, of course, this ain’t me, although he does sound like a good guy.

The (judging by her picture) teenage girl to whom this website belongs, goes on to talk about my noted undercover investigation of nuclear smuggling; and how I was the first reporter to reveal new details on the existence of secret CIA prisons in Eastern Europe; neither of which I can recall, and both of which I am fairly sure would have involved some extensive time away from my regular office job and a higher clearance level than that which I currently possess.

I wonder if anyone ever asks him what other stories he has written.

You can read My Wife Glows in the Dark in its native version, if you care to, over here.